Black 'n Bougie - Latest Comments in http://www.blacknbougie.com/2009/07/wbffd-what-bougie-folks-are-forced-to.html

Re: http://www.blacknbougie.com/2009/07/wbffd-what-bougie-folks-are-forced-to.html

Brittanygeneva — Sun, 19 Dec 2010 20:17:51 -0000

Reminds of DuBois' idea of Double Consciousness...

"[we live in] a world which yields him no true self-consciousness, but only lets him see himself through the revelation of the other world. It is a peculiar sensation, this double-consciousness, this sense of always looking at one's self through the eyes of others, of measuring one's soul by the tape of a world that looks on in amused contempt and pity. One ever feels his two-ness,--an American, a Negro; two warring souls, two thoughts, two unreconciled strivings; two warring ideals in one dark body, whose dogged strength alone keeps it from being torn asunder" (from Souls of Black Folk)

Re: http://www.blacknbougie.com/2009/07/wbffd-what-bougie-folks-are-forced-to.html

leressa — Tue, 23 Nov 2010 08:53:38 -0000

Although I did not grow up bougie I have certainly developed my fair share of bougieness along the way. I love all types of music and generally get the serious side eye from my friends and family when I sing along to Hall and Oates and my white friends are amazed that I know all the words to "Carlos Rossi". I have generally been the only ( or one of very few) black folks at most of my workplaces and get asked the most random and ridiculous things from my coworkers who assume that I am the go to girl for all things black, ghetto or hood. I have been told more times than I can count how well spoken I am or how well dressed I am but still followed when I enter a boutique or high end store. It's sad to me that it's 2010 and we still have to deal with these issues.

Re: http://www.blacknbougie.com/2009/07/wbffd-what-bougie-folks-are-forced-to.html

Brneyed1 — Mon, 01 Nov 2010 18:28:25 -0000

Oh my goodness. I came to Bougieland long after this post. I didn't grow up bougie (not by a longshot) but I developed it. Attending a predominantly white college--and being the first in my extended family to go to college--I can relate to your having "two sets" of things. To this day I have different sets of friends that I contact depending on the event. Mine are split "pre-college" and "post-college". I got sooo much more than "book learning" in college.

Re: http://www.blacknbougie.com/2009/07/wbffd-what-bougie-folks-are-forced-to.html

GrownAzzMan — Thu, 26 Aug 2010 17:27:56 -0000

This whole post sums up my life growing up and my adult years in corporate america. Chele are you sure we are not related? I especially like this point here ----> "All of this to say what? It's hard out here for the bougie? Yes. Our own President was accused of being elitist for eating arugula but militant for doing a fist bump… that's the fine line the educated, upwardly mobile Black American tiptoes on every day."
Being somewhat new to Bougieland I had never read this one. Thanx for reposting the link.

Re: http://www.blacknbougie.com/2009/07/wbffd-what-bougie-folks-are-forced-to.html

FormerLurker — Sat, 14 Aug 2010 17:24:19 -0000

This just spoke to me! Thanks! I grew up pretty much the same way except in self-segregated Pittsburgh. We were the only Black family all of the time.

Re: http://www.blacknbougie.com/2009/07/wbffd-what-bougie-folks-are-forced-to.html

Guest — Sat, 05 Sep 2009 01:13:29 -0000

too funny that you say "euros". I use that term all the time and my husband laughs at my many ways of saying white person/people.

Re: http://www.blacknbougie.com/2009/07/wbffd-what-bougie-folks-are-forced-to.html

Guest — Fri, 04 Sep 2009 21:13:29 -0000

too funny that you say "euros". I use that term all the time and my husband laughs at my many ways of saying white person/people.

Re: http://www.blacknbougie.com/2009/07/wbffd-what-bougie-folks-are-forced-to.html

Anonymous — Thu, 27 Aug 2009 19:33:02 -0000

This is exactly on point. I've heard from more than one of my so-called friends that I come off really bougie, but I'm actually nice. Really? So in other words you judged me based off of my looks? It's bad enough euros do it, I get tired of feeling the need to defend myself with my own folk as well.

Re: http://www.blacknbougie.com/2009/07/wbffd-what-bougie-folks-are-forced-to.html

Anonymous — Thu, 27 Aug 2009 15:33:02 -0000

Re: http://www.blacknbougie.com/2009/07/wbffd-what-bougie-folks-are-forced-to.html

OneChele — Wed, 26 Aug 2009 03:25:10 -0000

@mahogany - welcome home and thanks! ;-)

Re: http://www.blacknbougie.com/2009/07/wbffd-what-bougie-folks-are-forced-to.html

Mahogany Misfit (formerly know — Wed, 26 Aug 2009 01:22:39 -0000

New reader...enjoying your blog very much.

This post TOTALLY resonated with me.

I've had many of these same experiences going back to childhood...being one of only 6 black kids at my private school, having white parents drive me home fro study groups in HS and being STUNNED my house was nicer than theirs and quizzing me on the occupation of my mother and father, growing up in neighborhoods with NO other Black people *at all*, and dealing with all that this entails.

It is always nice to come across people who have experienced the same and can articulate the trials and tribulations (along with the blessings).

Re: http://www.blacknbougie.com/2009/07/wbffd-what-bougie-folks-are-forced-to.html

OneChele — Tue, 25 Aug 2009 23:25:10 -0000

@mahogany - welcome home and thanks! ;-)

Re: http://www.blacknbougie.com/2009/07/wbffd-what-bougie-folks-are-forced-to.html

Mahogany Misfit (formerly know — Tue, 25 Aug 2009 21:22:39 -0000

Re: http://www.blacknbougie.com/2009/07/wbffd-what-bougie-folks-are-forced-to.html

Anonymous — Tue, 11 Aug 2009 03:05:24 -0000

it will never end. during on campus interviewing in law school i consistently found myself pegged as a litigator because i "speak so well"

less than a week ago, i was ensured my fledging solo practice would take off because i'm just SO articulate. do i look like i need confirmation that i'm capable of effectively communicating?

Re: http://www.blacknbougie.com/2009/07/wbffd-what-bougie-folks-are-forced-to.html

Anonymous — Mon, 10 Aug 2009 23:05:24 -0000

Re: http://www.blacknbougie.com/2009/07/wbffd-what-bougie-folks-are-forced-to.html

OneChele — Wed, 22 Jul 2009 20:40:21 -0000

@greg dragon & nut_cookie: as MJ said "you are not alone!"

@beatfreak thank you!

Re: http://www.blacknbougie.com/2009/07/wbffd-what-bougie-folks-are-forced-to.html

nut_cookie — Wed, 22 Jul 2009 20:06:04 -0000

I actually heard the "she's so well spoken!" comments. As a child, black adults would remark that I "talked funny".

Even today I get that bull and it never fails to make me seethe. A person shouldn't have to justify who they are because they fail to fit someone else's idea of what they should be, based off of stereotypes no less.

This was a great read, thanks for writing it!

Re: http://www.blacknbougie.com/2009/07/wbffd-what-bougie-folks-are-forced-to.html

OneChele — Wed, 22 Jul 2009 16:40:21 -0000

@greg dragon & nut_cookie: as MJ said "you are not alone!"

@beatfreak thank you!

Re: http://www.blacknbougie.com/2009/07/wbffd-what-bougie-folks-are-forced-to.html

nut_cookie — Wed, 22 Jul 2009 16:06:04 -0000

Re: http://www.blacknbougie.com/2009/07/wbffd-what-bougie-folks-are-forced-to.html

beatfreak — Tue, 21 Jul 2009 02:28:24 -0000

Thank you for this! I am adding you to my reader.

Re: http://www.blacknbougie.com/2009/07/wbffd-what-bougie-folks-are-forced-to.html

beatfreak — Mon, 20 Jul 2009 22:28:24 -0000

Thank you for this! I am adding you to my reader.

Re: http://www.blacknbougie.com/2009/07/wbffd-what-bougie-folks-are-forced-to.html

Greg Dragon — Mon, 20 Jul 2009 19:51:49 -0000

I echo the sentiments of everyone here by saying bravo on a well written article.

Sadly much of it rung familiar to me and I forwarded it on to my girlfriend since we talk about the dual prejudice all the time and her daughter is experiencing much of it in the public school system. Sadly I don't see this improving anytime soon but it's always great to hear other people's stories on it.

Re: http://www.blacknbougie.com/2009/07/wbffd-what-bougie-folks-are-forced-to.html

Greg Dragon — Mon, 20 Jul 2009 15:51:49 -0000

Re: http://www.blacknbougie.com/2009/07/wbffd-what-bougie-folks-are-forced-to.html

OneChele — Sun, 19 Jul 2009 22:42:42 -0000

@AnnellaBella - I'll be posting some insights from BougieMom for you.

@Anon from 7/19 - Embrace your inner bouge. You do you and let the rest fall where it may

Thanks to all for the great feedback this article is getting

Re: http://www.blacknbougie.com/2009/07/wbffd-what-bougie-folks-are-forced-to.html

Anonymous — Sun, 19 Jul 2009 22:18:06 -0000

Thank you so much for this post! Apart from attending charm school, your experiences pretty much encapsulate my own growing up. I cannot tell you how meaningful it is to read someone else so eloquently describe what it is like to be black but not “black” enough. I have been called bougie my entire life, and at 24, I have just now have begun to not feel hurt or guilty when someone accuses me for liking or engaging in some activity that is too “highbrow” or “white.” It’s just great to hear that I am not alone.